Disclaimer – this post is a bit revealing.
Busting Through a SAD Winter…
I’ve never spoken to a person with official authority over these feelings or anything, but I know myself well enough to know that I get depressed during the winter. I become an even more reclusive and sorry version of myself.
What did I do this winter? I’m not so sure. Yeah, I could probably recount a few weekend trips I took but other than that, I think a lot of repetition and rut behaviors defined my winter season. I’m intolerant to cold, bitter and sad for no reason and completely unable to make plans with you. Sorry.
As the sun starts to come out in Spring and it feels warm out, I transform into a different person. I remember that I can take other classes at the gym (besides the one that I feel comfortable enough showing up to) and suddenly I’m in Yoga on Mondays, Kickboxing on Tuesdays, Spin on Wednesdays, the weight-room on Thursdays, Spin again on Fridays, Yoga again on Saturdays…
I suddenly feel a need to comb my hair, put on eye shadow, wear matching socks, buy new face wash and apply face masks, wear clothes and not pajamas to work, pull out clothing and shoes that have color on them (holy pink shoes Batman!), do crafts, walk to the farmers market…
I sound like a mess, don’t I?
It’s easy to get by living like this and nobody noticing. I don’t want pity. I don’t want people to notice that I’m like this. I don’t want to feel self-conscious that my clothes have either powdered sugar or toothpaste, I’m not sure which and I couldn’t care less, on them and my hair looks like birds could nest in it at any moment (I call it “hippie chic” and people tell me they like my naturally unruly hair that’s crazy long). I’m just relieved that Spring is here. I’m relieved that I can sit outside to eat my lunch again.
I’m excited for new flats and sandals. For 5k races and walks with my dogs. I’m excited for concerts and grilling and short sleeved shirts. For reading books while sitting outside.
I think I just want you to know that if you get majorly bummed out during the cold, dark winter months, I’m right there with you. And thank God they’re pretty much over.